If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more
After talking to Harriet on…a secret matter of her heart; I examined my own heart and there you were…never I fear, to be removed.
'You will not ask me what is the point of envy. You are determined, I see, to have no curiosity. You are wise — but I cannot be wise. Emma, I must tell what you will not ask, though I may wish it unsaid the next moment.'
'Oh! then, don't speak it, don't speak it,' she eagerly cried. 'Take a little time, consider, do not commit yourself.'
'Thank you,' said he, in an accent of deep mortification, and not another syllable followed.
“Oh! to be sure, it is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage. A man always imagines a woman to be ready for anybody who asks her.”
Till now that she was threatened with its loss, Emma had never known how much of her happiness depended on being first with Mr. Knightley, first in interest and affection…She had herself been first with him for many years past. She had not deserved it; she had often been negligent or perverse, slighting his advice, or even wilfully opposing him, insensible of half his merits, quarrelling with him because he would not acknowledge her false and insolent estimate of her own - but still, from family attachment and habit, and thorough excellence of mind he had loved her, and watched over her from a girl, with an endeavour to improve her, and an anxiety for her doing right, which no other creature had at all shared. In spite of all her faults, she knew she was dear to him; might she not say, very dear?
Emma, Jane Austen